Review: Fifty Shades Darker

Score: C-

Director: James Foley

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Eric Johnson, Rita Ora, Marcia Gay Harden

Running Time: 118 Minutes

Rated: R

“I don’t know whether to worship at your feet or spank you.”

Beginning with a flower delivery, Fifty Shades Darker is as funny and ridiculous as it is sexual.  And what’s worst - even with all the sex and porn style dialogue, the film is actually quite boring.

Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan reprise their roles as Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey respectively, taking viewers on a rather ridiculous ride as they test the waters in a fairly quick (and anti-climatic) will they or won’t they montage.

But the suspense is short lived as Steele finds herself enjoying the luxury life that Grey can accommodate - even if she appears to be turned off by the money, the obsession and penthouse view.

And that, in all its glory, is all we get out of this highly sexual though increasingly dull sequel.

The sexuality, though amped up, is more times than not awkward.  The dialogue is fairly unusual and stiff, and the conflict is obnoxiously foreseen and overly dramatic.  Thirty minutes in you find yourself unsure whether you are watching a controversial film dealing with S&M or a telenovela on Telemundo.

Marcia Gay Harden is easily the most authentic of the group, reprising her role as Christian’s adopted mother Grace.  Her delivery is genuine and pure, offering up a refreshing quality to the otherwise struggling jumble of scenes.

But not to worry, anytime the story hits a low point, we are treated to an unusually heightened and fairly forced sexual encounter from our leading duo - this after Christian purchases the company that Anastasia works for, firing her boss and immediately promoting her to fiction editor.

If this all sounds a bit out there, not to worry - there is plenty more.

Much of the film comes off as a long running joke, one where our two love birds are the never ending punch line.  From Anastasia’s indecisive nature surrounding Christian’s desire for kink to a seemingly random and unneeded confrontation that involves a gun and one of Christian’s former subs, nothing appears in place as the two become lost within their own world where sex proves most intoxicating.

And when their lives are thrown into a rather flat and uninspiring haze, it takes merely three minutes for the issue to be resolved and have life return to normal.  Drama?  Maybe.  Interesting movie sequence?  Hardly.

The final scene is just as awkward as the first, especially considering the fact that neither Anastasia or Christian appear to have grown during their time together.  Kim Bassinger’s Elena Lincoln offers us a few fair warnings - one of which lands a glass of champaign in her face - but no one appears to care.

The film does set itself up for the final chapter in the Steel/Grey universe quite well, including the debut trailer for Fifty Shades Freed as a post-trailer “tease”.  Its a cop out, but one that loyal fans will likely find appetizing as they anxious await the final film.  Others will groan and appreciate that this mess is quickly coming to an end.

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About Stephen Davis

Stephen Davis
I owe this hobby/career to the one and only Stephanie Peterman who, while interning at Fox, told me that I had too many opinions and irrelevant information to keep it all bottled up inside. I survived my first rated R film, Alive, at the ripe age of 8, it took me months to grasp the fact that Julia Roberts actually died at the end of Steel Magnolias, and I might be the only person alive who actually enjoyed Sorority Row…for its comedic value of course. While my friends can drink you under the table, I can outwatch you when it comes iconic, yet horrid 80s films like Adventures in Babysitting and Troop Beverly Hills. I have no shame when it comes to what I like, and if you have a problem with that, then we’ll settle it on the racquetball court. I see too many movies to actually win any film trivia contest, so don’t waste your first pick on me. My friends rent movies from my bookcase shelves, and one day I do plan to start charging. I long to live in LA, where my movie obsession will actually help me fit in, but for now I am content with my home in Austin. I prefer indies to blockbusters, Longhorns to Sooners and Halloween to Friday the 13th. I miss the classics, as well as John Ritter, and I hope to one day sit down and interview the amazing Kate Winslet.

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