As if I didn't already have enough to worry about when jumping into the lake on a wild and crazy Spring Break trip, piranhas have now come out of the woodworks to earn a spot at the top of my list. Granted the likelihood of their presence is quite low, it happened at Lake Victoria - and it could happen here as well.
That is the thought that kept running through my mind as I witnessed the ridiculous blood bath that is Alexandre Aja's Piranha 3-D. Taking place at a time when a town of 5,000 suddenly becomes one of 50,000, the film is the ideal representation of rough, rowdy and highly entertaining fun! Think Jaws, but without all the character development and plot emphasis. In fact, think little about the plot at all - it hardly makes any sense.
Dead bodies lie in the water after the piranha's most brutal attack; I hardly doubt such an occurrence would really happen given their fascination with devouring the other college students that once swam above the surface. Somehow thrown into the mix of drunk college coeds are two Innocent grade schoolers who get involved in the story when they become stranded on a nearby island thanks to their inability to successfully tie up a canoe, and what would a college film be without an up and coming porn director looking for his next big star? The final scene is overly cheesy, and Christopher Lloyd's departing words hardly make any sense at all; however, they set up the film for a well deserved sequel, one that will hopefully bring back the onslaught of reputable talent.
Elisabeth Shue leads the charge as Sheriff Julie Forester, and she is joined by a long string of strong supporting players. Jerry O'Connell, Jessica Szohr, Steven R. McQueen and Adam Scott all make hefty appearances, adding an unneeded third dimension to this overly done feature. This allows Richard Dreyfuss, Eli Roth and Christopher Lloyd to deliver priceless cameos that help take the film to the next level. Together they form an unusual group for this type of genre; as a horror fan, their mere involvement made the experience all the better!
Nudity is also a regular presence, which shouldn't be a problem for the guys, and I can't decide if the prop master was kind to Jerry O'Connell or not. Either way, the experience was fresh and exciting. A hilarious underwater dance holds your attention for minutes as you witness two beautiful figures weave together to a high pitched opera track playing aboard a nearby boat; pure entertainment for those who can sit back and laugh at the irony of it all.
As a film, this one is not that great. But as a fun, exciting and overall enthralling experience, Piranha 3-D hits the bullseye. The prefect guy movie that will have you laughing and squirming from beginning to end. It plays to your imagination and uses both comedy and horror to create a film truly worth seeing. It is a unique throwback to the style of the 80s, and with Jaws being so yesterday, it is time for a new fish to come in and steal the show. Piranha, you have earned your spot at center stage!
