When I first heard that there
would soon be a film based on Batleship, the popular Hasbro board game, I had
my doubts. Not only was there
never a central plot within the game, but the concept was strikingly
simple. How would they craft a
story around each player calling out A-7?
Sadly, my answer wasn't too comforting as Peter Berg using the game to
offer up an alien invasion story that "uniquely" uses battleships in reference
to Earth's last defense.
With a highly touted cast
that includes Taylor Kitsch, Liam Neeson, Alexander Skarsgard, Brooklyn Decker,
and the big-screen debut of pop sensation Rihanna, you'd think there was
something to get excited about.
And while the film does occasionally offer a worthy action sequence, Battleship
rarely ventures below the surface.
The film, which runs a
ridiculous 143 minutes, tells the story of small fleet of naval ships who must
battle against the odds to secure Earth's mere survival. Sound interesting? Don't be fooled.
Other than taking an eternity
to actually get going, Battleship fails to develop any of its characters
as each is forced to deliver cliché dialogue as they go through meaningless
motions, all of which leads to an ending that fits the generic formula of an
alien invasion summer blockbuster to a tee. Sure, there were moments of intrigue. But each was heavily overpowered by
those that weren't, leaving us shaking our heads as we accurately predict each
moment long before the actions ever begin to take shape.
The C rating is solely in
response to the special effects. I
applaud the studio for refraining from the newly cemented 3-D craze"”if only it
had been cautious enough to say no to the entire project.
