"Welcome to Freddy's."
I'll admit. I don't understand the appeal of 2023's Five Nights at Freddy's. Based on the popular video game franchise, the film did ridiculous numbers, becoming a global juggernaut. A sequel was practically guaranteed. And while I get Blumhouse's financial play, I still don't get the fan obsession.
Much of the original cast and creative team return for the cleverly titled Five Nights at Freddy's 2. And while many of them admitted that the original film wasn't nearly as scary as it could have been, they did little to rectify the situation. Even with all its murder and mayhem, the sequel proves that oversized animatronics, with (or without) homicidal behavior, are not scary.
Scott Cawthon, the original creator of the video game series, returns to the writers' room, delivering an equally uninspiring script centered on characters he himself created. It's an interesting situation. But alas, here we are.
Emma Tammi also returns to direct the follow-up, which delves into the origins of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, picking up a year after the events of the first film as the survivors struggle to cope with their experiences.
Truthfully, Cawthon basically repackages the original film with a slightly larger budget, reintroducing us to Mike (Josh Hutcherson) and his little sister Abby (Piper Rubio). While Mike works to build a life for them, she is longing for her animatronic friends. You know, the ones who were revealed to be possessed by the spirits of murdered children. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail) has immense PTSD (and nightmares) as she wrestles with the fact that her father is the one who murdered them.
The film opens with a 1982-set prologue that shows a young girl, an obvious outsider, attempting to save a child from a serial killer at the original Freddy's. After she, herself, falls victim to the murderer, we jump forward twenty years to the present day. Now, amid the need to shock and awe, a paranormal investigator (Mckenna Grace) and her team respond to a tip from a creepy security guard (Freddy Carter) at the original Freddy's location. The spot is perfect for their newest episode. You can assume that things don't go well.
Turns out, those robots are possessed by the spirit of the little girl who died decades earlier, her final emotion bubbling at the surface, prompting her to seek revenge on the parents who turned a blind eye when she screamed for help.
This sets in motion a series of events that reunite Abby with her friends while bringing us the Scream reunion we've been waiting for. Well, a somewhat reunion. Okay, in reality, there is no real reunion. Sorry to disappoint.
To say that Five Nights at Freddy's 2 is a horror film is a bit of a stretch. Granted, there are dark themes. But Tammi relies heavily on jump scares and loud interruptions to jolt the audience awake as our trio of awkward protagonists navigate a painfully predictable story with no real connection to human movement or emotion. It's ironic, really, considering the robotic nature of the film's main villain.
The dialogue, basic and futile, feels unnatural as our characters force their way through a story that is obviously made exclusively for die-hard fans of the game. I applaud Cawthon for leaning into his established fanbase. They did him right two years ago. Alienating them now would be foolish. But the story's horrid pacing and laughable commentary prevent the film from expanding to other demographics.
As we enter the third act and the animatronics gain the freedom to leave the restaurant, all hell breaks loose. Walking in the streets amongst the locals, they become part of Fazfest, a town celebration meant to remember the horrid events that happened before. It's gimmicky. But also necessary to allow the robots to blend as they begin their stint of terror.
If this all sounds ridiculous, trust me, it is. Obnoxious twists and turns (mostly involving Vanessa) keep a puzzled look on your face as a group of unlikeable characters work to jam the wireless signal and take back control of their town. The way they set out to do it is equally uninspiring and mindless.
Possibly hindered by its PG-13 rating, Five Nights at Freddy's 2 is neither scary nor entertaining. While I will admit it proves better than the original, the bar was offensively low. And we barely cleared it here.
Credit the cast for making the most of the situation. Ulrich did fine in his limited minutes, while Wayne Knight was a rare highlight as a robotics teacher who is an over-the-top asshole, one who would make Newman grin with pleasure. Oh, and how could we forget a somewhat random Megan Fox voicing Chica? Did I mention the increased budget?
All in, Five Nights at Freddy's 2 is not a good movie. It's hardly a movie. But franchise fans won't care. And there are likely enough easter eggs to keep them entertained until the heavily teased next film hits theaters. Is it inappropriate for one to wish for an AI takeover before then? Asking for a friend.
