Score: D+
Director: Ben Stiller
Cast: Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Penelope Cruz, Will Ferrell, Kristen Wiig
Running Time: 102 Minutes
Rated: PG-13
Set fourteen years after the original, Zoolander 2 finds our hopeless and utterly idiotic male models in a world of hurt attempting to make a career comeback while also working to find out who they really are and whether they have the testicular fortitude to stop an ancient prophecy from coming true.
There are certain films that after you are done watching them you think to yourself “man, that was just a great single-one-time-only film and never in a million years should they do a sequel.” 2001’s Zoolander was one of those films. Countless gags struck a chord with audiences, offering up a wealth of laughs stemming from two impressive performances from Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson; this time around…not so much.
Zoolander 2 is, without a doubt, one of the worst movies I have ever seen (and this is coming from someone who was forced to review The Lone Ranger). Not even Blue Steel and Magnum combined could save the film, and those moves stopped a Chinese throwing star.
Ben Stiller’s Derek Zoolander and Owen Wilson’s Hansel have gone underground after tragedy befalls them both and it is only when Billy Zane delivers a package to them that they re-emerge as the bumbling idiots that we all used to love.
The most disappointing aspect of Zoolander 2 lies in the fact that it could have been so good! That’s right. This could have been a hilarious sequel. But instead of a cohesive, straightforward story, we are given chaos. There are distinctive parts of the film where you can tell that they were written by different writers. And while this isn’t the first comedy that was crafted out of collaboration, the different talent level of those involved makes for limited moments where a joke is well-written, well-placed and well-delivered.
The story line was inventive: God made Adam and Eve AND Steve who also happened to be the first perfect model. The directing, ironically enough, is good as well. How Ben Stiller can write such horrid dialogue, but then turn around and give us great action sequences and an overall solid looking film is beyond me. But, nevertheless, he does.
As the film wages on it seems quite clear that the movie focuses most on the cameos and makes sure they have all the best lines, which ends up drowning Zoolander and Hansel. The film severely mishandles Kristen Wiig as the “new fashion guru” Alexanya Atoz. We hardly get to see her and when we do, she’s playing an over the top Donatella Versace-esque character. It doesn’t play well. She’s funny when she is there, but that’s her making due with what she was given – which isn’t much.
The side characters, Penelope Cruz, Benedict Cumberbatch, Cyrus Arnold, Keifer Sutherland, Nathan Lee Graham and Sting are all funny, many hitting a higher mark that star Ben Stiller. Even cameos by Katy Perry, Neil Degrasse Tyson, MC Hammer and John Malkovich prove an adequate addition to the story, even if they do outshine Zoolander and Hansel. But all of these performances are second-rate compared to that of Will Ferrell, the film’s true savior. Every scene with him had me laughing. His lines were sharp, crisp, well-timed and provided some great zingers that gave us a glimpse of just how great Zoolander 2 could have been.
Will Ferrell put it best, almost as if he were breaking the fourth wall, “Are you really buying this?? It’s nonsense!”
